I feel like I didn’t really sleep last night. I woke up two or three times – everytime I was right in the middle of some of kind intense dream. It seemed like it was the same one all night. Only it felt more like a nightmare - like I was just reliving the same scenario over and over again.
Rejection – I was somewhere warm and pretty. There was a pool. Everything seemed great. Until the conversation happened – the one where you told me I wasn’t good enough. That I never could be. That there was nothing you liked about me. That you didn’t even think about it one bit. That every single quality that Michelle has is perfect. And that I might as well die.
So this dream was extreme. But I’m still left with the feeling all day. Feeling rejected. Feeling not good enough for anything. Feeling like I have nothing to offer. There’s obviously something wrong with me – it’s not normal to be 28 and have never tried to have a serious relationship. I want to try. I want to put all of my effort into something – or someone rather. I want that to be the reason I wake up every morning and the last thing I think about before I fall asleep.
What did I do to deserve this?
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