before i first saw you
i had no intentions
wasn't expecting anything
actually the opposite
you were attached
of no interest to me

and then i walked in the door
was greeted politely
and we made eye contact
there was a spark
that ignited my curiosity
who are you?

you shared, i shared
i was hungry for more
every bit, detail, thought
wanting to know you more
and the spark continued
was innocently cultivated

called it building friendship
but in reality it was
building anticipation
for the first time we'd kiss
knowing the future
waiting for it to happen

spending time alone with you
blushing because it was tainted
with guilt
it was never innocent
we were never just friends
others could see what i ignored

finally we were both free
and spent nights
building anticipation
of a different kind
i couldn't keep my shirt on
or my heart closed

your hands
finally the kiss
too nervous to make the most of it
screwing up everything
being coy, or just dumb
instead of throwing it on the line
too scared to be vulnerable
too infatuated to say no
sitting in limbo
beginning the process

....of losing you.