So we had a movie date last night. I know you don't like me to call it that, but it doesn't matter what it's called, just matters what it was.

And it was a lot of fun. You said you had a good time, I hope that's true. I had a good time. A really good time. I wish i would have realized before how much fun it can be to actually see each other even when we can't visit.

On a completely different note - it hurts me when i think you're compromising yourself. You just aren't the country music type - don't pretend.

ok, last post for tonight i hope.

i'm worried about letting you read this. I've been too open and too honest and it freaks me out. I'm afraid you'll think i'm crazy and you won't understand.

I'm not obsessed. I just get something in my head and have trouble letting it go.
Right now - I have you in my mind, and I really don't want to let you go.

I just want to be ridiculously happy with you. And i won't settle for less.

real poem

some nights i think about forever
with you
i wonder if i would truly be happy
my hang up
is my image
i care too much about being an exact
certain replica
of the perfect life that i envision
you don't meet those specific criteria
you don't even try
2.5 kids
and a white picket fence
in the suburbs
i could do that some day
i really could
doesn't mean it's where i'm at today
doesn't make me love you any less
doesn't mean i wouldn't sacrifice
what i want
to be happy
really, i just want to be happy
completely, uncontrollably
someday
i'm not sure i'll get there
without you

love me

you're pretty when i'm drunk
you're pretty win i'm drunk
and i'm pretty fucking drunk
the end.

go back away.
come back today.
you're kinda gay.
that's not true.

i'm trying to write a poem
about how i feel
but stacey keeps fingering the keyboard
and i have to hit delete too often
i love stacey

stacey needs counseling
she says this is not a poem
she is a bitch

Would it matter if I could see myself marrying you someday?

Scandinavian Festival was fun. Took some pictures - but just of Stacey and I. We're real conceited that way.

I've been trying extremely hard not to bother you, not to interfere with the time your having, but it's really hard.

I don't know why it's so hard right now. It's not like I have any burning questions or am dying to see what your doing. I am really curious, but I can deal with that.

I just want to say hi, and hear hi back, or even better to hear the sound of your voice. And see what emotion I can detect in it - so I can jump to ridiculous assumptions.

We're so different. If I were you, my weekend would be all over facebook. It's probably good that it's not, it would make it easier for me to jump to ridiculous conclusions.

Anyway, I'm lonely. And i miss you. Come home soon.

I woke up this morning in the middle of a dream that felt like it had been going on all night long. I didn't want to wake up, because then it would be over. I laid in bed for a least half an hour trying to relive the details and keep that dreamy state with me.

I can't remember the details as strongly as I felt them in that weird state between awake and asleep, but you were here. And we were happy - together. Both of us at our happiest, only at the same time.

Everything was slow - excruciatingly slow, but in a way that made it perfect. It was like real time, only slowed down - to the point that one kiss lasted like 5 minutes.

Now I'm out of bed and feel awkward. I'd really like to find out if we could ever actually be this happy, or if it really is just all in my head.