There's nothing for me to stop. I'm not doing anything. 'm just having trouble resigning myself to the fact that I get nothing.

We used to talk everyday.
I said I was okay with not doing that.
Now it's once a week - maybe.

I keep making myself available at times that I'm really not. Like after I get home from work. I'm afraid if I don't make myself available then, I won't get anything at all. I'm always free for like two hours between 5pm and 7pm. You never are. You never give up a single thing to talk to me - whether it be a book, or a tv show you have DVD'd. I still lose even to the most basic things.

I'm trying to just be okay with this, and take what I can get it. But i'm starting to realize how wrong that is. You shouldn't just take something that's far below standards b/c you're afraid of not getting anything at all.

I need to stop being afraid.
I really am that great. I'm not the one whose losing by not being my friend.
You will realize it someday.
And it may very well be too late.

I'm just tired of being hurt over and over again every fukking day.
In addition to the contact rejection, I can't really take it.