I had a dream that I received an anonymous orchid delivery.
If that happened to me in real life. It would be the best day ever.
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So a few weeks back I was watching “Chasing October” with Stacey, which by the way is a very excellent movie that I thoroughly enjoyed even though it’s about the Cubs.

I like ideas, so I was brainstorming with Stacey a documentary that we should make (i.e. talk about for fun but never actually really work on). It’s a lot like Chasing October, but more centered on the lives of the characters. The main characters all have season tickets and sit in the same section at the stadium. Throughout the season/movie you learn about their lives and they interact with one another. All of the characters are die hard fans – why would they have season tickets if they weren’t. At some point you start to notice that when the team is doing well and things are looking up, their lives also seem to be going well. All sorts of positive life events will be tied with the fate of the team.

Anyway, I invested too much thought into this and was journaling about it, etc. And at some point I made this movie in my head about us – tied to the fate of the Cardinals. I’ve had a lot of hope lately, because I keep watching and praying and they keep doing well. And now we’re down to the final game of the season. They could lose tonight. They could win the wild card tonight. They could force a tiebreaker game with the Braves tonight. The fate of the post-season quite possibility rests on the performance of 9-15 ish players and how bad they want this. And someone in my head, the fate of our future, our ability to work this out, to fix things also rests on this same event. Yet, we can’t control it. We aren’t those players. It doesn’t matter how bad I want this, it doesn’t change anything. If wanting it bad enough could make a baseball team win, the Cubs would have won a World Series at some point. Their fans want it bad – the probably want it the most out of any teams fans. On a tangent, I think Hitler hates the Cubs is a hilarious youtube video.

Now I’m worried. Everything comes down to tonight.

I might have to change the end of my movie. Maybe all season the ups and downs of the characters are connected with the team. And then at the end, the team wins the pennant in a fantastic game, at the same time that the characters lives are falling apart.