I'm looking for someone that's not me, someone that thinks of things that I would never think of, that thinks a different way home from the store is shorter, someone I can learn from, explore, and keep exploring for the rest of my life. Someone that I never quite completely figure out.

i think i'm an open book, but it's not really true, there are lots of parts that I keep back for the special people, and a few parts that i almost completely keep back, but that i'm dying to share with someone who's earned it

I feel guilty for judging people for being too simple. I like complicated. I like tortured. I like the high end of the intelligence scale. It seems like maybe these things are related, that the simpler people are happy. Because they're blissfully unaware of all of the things to be unhappy about.

Not that I'm unhappy. I'm only unhappy when I think too much. I think too much a lot. I'm happy when i'm distracted and having fun, or distracted and working really hard, or distracted and running, really just distracted is what it takes. It's easy to be unhappy when you let yourself focus on all the problems in the world.

It's also easy to be distracted and ignore them. I don't want to be distracted, it's unfair to all those who are suffering to just pretend like everything is great. On the other hand, I don't want to be unhappy.

I need more time to help more people. I guess that'll be easier soon when I'm not tied down to a job everyday. It's not like I actually need all that bar studying time anyway.

It rained today. The summer's officially over. Maybe some other things are officially over too.