Okay, so i typed up this entire handout that i have. I'm supposed to evaluate failed relationships and determine which facets were lacking. I'm confused about how to do this - because it could easily be all of them at one time or another. On my part and on his part.


Friend/Significant Other Exercise

The person that you end up marrying someday should be a best friend to you. That does not mean that they take the place of your best friend, but instead that if you decide you want to spend the rest of your life with them, they should have all of the qualities of a best friend and more. A best friend is something of which you can never have too many.

Below are some key qualities of a friend/significant other. Too often our relationships fail because we are lacking in one or more of these key qualities. Many times we will try to ignore that quality or claim that it is not required instead of facing the reality of failed relationship.

1. Honesty – A friend is someone who doesn’t lie to you – even when it’s tough. They should feel comfortable enough with you, and you with them, to share feelings, unhappiness, thoughts, ideas, etc. and have security that it will not cause a rift in the friendship. This level of honestly and security is not something that comes automatically, but must be gained with your friend.

2. Loyalty – A friend remains by your side in times of stress and strife, whatever the circumstances. Just because things are difficult, this person will not stray from your side.

3. Sacrifice – Making sacrifices of each other is what compromising and being flexible is all about. Don’t always allow your friend to be the one to make sacrifices; it can be quite fulfilling and spiritual to make sacrifices yourself. Still both partners must be willing to sacrifice for the other.

4. Kindness – A friend is kind and shares. Observe how your friend treats others; this is often the best indicator of how they will treat you in the future. It is especially helpful to observe how someone treats strangers, enemies, and the homeless.

5. Helpfulness – A best friend won’t sit with a smirk or smug expression while you struggle alone. They’ll leave their comfort zone and help you out – both in deed and in support.

6. Share Interests – It isn’t required that you and your best friend do everything together, but there must be at least some activities you enjoy together or thing you have in common.

7. Respect – A friend should treat you and speak to you with respect. They should respect your views and opinions, your space, and who you are. This does not mean that they have to agree with you; but they must not put you down.

8. Trust – A best friend will trust you and earn your trust. You have to be able to trust that your friend has your best interests at heart all the time, and won’t step on you to achieve their own ends.