24 May 2011
To Whom It May Concern:
For the foregoing reasons, I hereby resign as your friend, consort, lover, keeper, and all other roles to which I am currently delegated or have been delegated in the past. The reasons for such resignation will be thoroughly detailed below.
Time and Attention
I really care about my friends and I want to spend a lot of time with them. If I can’t have that full relationship where we know a lot about each others’ lives and genuinely want to spend time with each other, I don’t see how we can have any relationship at all.
Personality
This may sound harsh, but I don’t like who you are anymore. It’s not big things – but small things. I used to see you as one of the most generous, loving, selfless people I knew. I don’t see any of those traits anymore. At least not with me. It seems like all of the things you are trying to teach me to do, you’ve stopped doing. That’s probably an exaggeration, you haven’t stopped doing them – but you’ve stopped doing them with regard to me. You’re not supposed to just give and be nice and love the people you choose – you’re supposed to treat everyone that way.
I don’t want to be friends.
Despite all of the above, I want to love you. I want to be with you – mentally, physically, spiritually. I want your arms around me. I want to stare at you. I want to talk all night and into the morning. I want to know how you feel about everything. I like this feeling. I don’t want to forget this. I want to relish in this feeling. But it would be so much better if I could relish this feeling with you. If we could just lay in bed for an entire weekend – skin to skin, figuring out what life is really all about.
For the foregoing reasons, I respectfully withdraw my application for anything. I’m sorry I spent so long on your card, the time could have been better spent.
Sincerely,