I want to dignify your status messages with a response, but I can't let this cycle keep revolving. I want to be able to show you how I'm feeling, but I can't. It makes you unhappy. It's completely unfair of me to make you unhappy. That's what I can't share any of myself with you. I wish I could tell you how badly i'm feeling right now.

I wish i wasn't comfortable with you. I wish i had never been this open. I really should have just kept my mouth shut. I should have let you think i didn't care. It was so much easier when you thought I didn't care. But if i could go back i would do more than let you think i didn't care, I would actually not care. Not at all. Not even a little.

I wish I didn't feel so bad about myself. I wish i thought someone, anyone was capable of liking me. I wish I thought I was special again. Right now, I don't think I'll ever feel that way ever again. And it makes me want to die.

I miss my best friend and I can't even tell him that. Why would i want to live?