The End

I can't post on here, it's too selfish.  It's too giving in to myself.  It's too easy for me to get caught up in thinking and talking about painful things.  I'm done.

I've been keeping a lot of dumb crap in my real journal.
I should either become a recluse and write weird poems that no one appreciates or write some young adult crazy bullshit stuff and become rich and famous.


Here's an excerpt.

you are the one
you always have been
the truth is
i feel like i've had to stop
myself from doing this from
the second i first saw you

the first time i held you hand
i felt like i'd held it a million times before
likes somehow it's always been here

life is messy, it just is
that's why i need you
to balance things out
you do that for me everyday

loving you and being loved by you makes everything better

I love you with everything I am and everything I hope to be.

btw didn't write this

In the moment I feel better expressing myself.
But reading back things I've written always make me cringe.
For different reasons depending on the post.
Usually b/c i'm embarrassed and/or appalled at myself for saying/admitting certain things.
oh well.
it's not like there's anyone to be embarrassed in front of anyway.

How about we run away to Italy or Greece or Nantucket, and just never look back or talk about this again?

nobody's perfect, 

but show me I'm worth it

i'm tired of not being worth it

i'm worth the sacrifice

there are two things that you should not sacrifice

your morals and your dreams

i'm tired of having bad timing

i don't know if it's me or them

same name, but completely different 

and never the one I want

never making sense

i'm not in a place to give anyone a chance

let alone this one

who kept me from giving you the best chance

this is ridiculous

life needs to make sense for once

It's never too late to make your dreams come true.
To be the person that you know you can be.
It's about time to stop thinking you're amazing, and actually be amazing.

Yeah, I know how well this describes me.  Why else would I be saying it.

It's not really enough to know how great you are - other people have to realize it.  Not in a public recognition kind of way, but in a "it doesn't matter if you think you are nice if no one else feels that way" kind of way.

It's also never too late to do the right thing.  To apologize.  To make things right.  To try something different. To make a change.

Let today be the day you make a change.

Watching duets and they have to sing this song.  Always makes me think of you.  But so does Steak-n-Shake, and Red Robin, and facebook games, and Matt Damon, and pretty much everything I do everyday.    I guess this song says it perfectly.  I wonder if I ever cross your mind, for me it happens all the time.